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holy crapballs!

eirefaerie in detox30

Some things to consider

Enjoying your last day of fun and friviolty? Yeah, suck it up!

I know I promised recipes, however, the thing is . . . I don't use recipes. i just, you know, cook. However, I'm going to endeavor to try to write them down. I dunno! It's hard!

But here are awesome detox-friendly products for you to eat!

Mary's Gone Crackers

Y'all, Mary's Gone Crackers are the shit. I eat them not on detox, they are so fucking yummy. Light and crispy! Slap some all-natural, tasty hummus on those? Instant snacktime fun.


There are 400 different kinds of hummus, and you can find it anywhere (or make it yourself - 2 cups of chickpeas, maybe a quarter cup of olive oil, spices, lemon juice. Garlic, chives, onions or peppers at will. blender.). Hummus is detox-friendly, contains the best kind of oil (olive, which has the best ratio of good fat to bad) and is freaking tasty business. If you're lucky enough to find a place that carries this brand, check out 40-spice hummus. Holy crapballs.

Rice Pasta

Rice pasta is not that bad, actually. Now, that may not sound like a ringing endorsement, but remember that I studied Italian in school specifically so that I could better investigate the history of pasta. I love pasta. So when I say it's not bad, I mean just that. Is it as good as handmade pasta fresh from being rolled and cut? No. But it's not bad. The one thing you'll want to look out for is cooking times - don't leave the pasta on to boil and then go check your email. 6, 7 minutes TOPS. After that, and because it's made of rice, it'll start to fall apart quickly due to the water.

Soy Cheese

Again, actually . . . not that bad. And we all know how I feel about cheese. I wouldn't suggest eating it plain in a sandwich or something, but cooked, it's actually pretty good. Or at least deceptively cheese-like. You can find it in your local grocer's vegetarian or organic section - it's meltable, slicable, shreddable, etc.


Might as well just get used to it now. Again, tofu can be deceptively good. I don't eat, like, tofu steaks, but when you cut it fine, it's actually really good, I think. And I went into detox hating the very idea of tofu. At any rate, use firm tofu for meat substitutions, in vegan lasagna (recipe to follow), etc. Silken tofu is quite good in soups (I have a good recipe for a creamy corn chowder made from soy milk and silken tofu which is actually quite yummy; I'm just trying to find it.) and smoothies (although I use soy protein powder in my smoothies. But if you like creamy smoothies, then you can use silken tofu to replace the frozen yogurt).

Soy Milk or Rice Milk

Be careful that your milk doesn't have added sugar! Some of the flavored milks do. I don't personally like rice milk- I think it's really thin and watery (of course, I only drink whole milk, so I think that of 2% and skim too. So if you're a fan of 2%, etc, you might be quite at home with rice milk.), but I was surprised at how much I liked soy, actually. You can't tell the difference at all with cooking, and I even liked it on cereal and stuff. So you may want to try both and see.


Seriously, get in touch with your love for produce. It's the beginning of summer! The best time for produce! (ha, you should have done this in January! although, I live in Texas, so it wasn't really that bad) The old adage proves true - embrace the rainbow. The darker the veggie, the better. Steam them, grill them, eat them raw - the more veggies, the better. Try to limit yourself to only 2 (maybe 3, if you count some juice) servings of fruit. It's delish, but high in sugars, and can lead your blood sugar to do wonky things. (Also try to limit regular, i.e. white or red, potatoes and other high-starch veggies. sweet potatoes are acceptable, though.)


I really don't know what I did before quinoa. That shit is TASTY BUSINESS. Quinoa is a seed (most people think it's a grain) that, when cooked, expands a bit and looks a little like couscous. It's really yummy, and I'll share with you my favorite way of having it. But, basically, cook it like you would rice - 1 part quinoa to 2 part water, bring to a bit of a boil, then reduce to a simmer and let it sit for about 20 minutes, or until the water's been absorbed. It's a really good side dish, and it's super easy to make.

Basmati and brown rice

Are the kinds of rice you can have. Basmati is yumtastic, I think it's better than regular rice anyways. It's less starchy. If you usually put gravy or butter on your rice and can't stand having it "plain," try putting some lemon juice on it. I thought it was quite tasty!

Salad Dressings . . .

JUST SAY NO. Seriously, not even the low-fat ones. Check the back label. Sugar galore, non? Try these two:

Lemon-Olive Oil Dressing:

1 part olive oil
2 parts lemon juice
a hint of black pepper

Balsamic Vinagarette:

1 part olive oil
2 parts balsamic vinegar

Seriously, you don't need heavy dressings on your salad anyway. It's gross.

Nuts and seeds

Be careful how much you eat. Peanuts are really high in fat. Pumpkin seeds are really good! And pistachios (high in fat, but the good kind)! Flaxseed is great, almonds are excellent for you. Look around. Experiment. And for heaven's sake, don't go salting your nuts to death. They don't need salt!


Don't gorge yourself on fish just cause you can. Limit yourself to once or twice a week (do have some, though. animal protein is good for you! really!). I prefer salmon, but any fish high in omega-3 will do. Shellfish is also good, and low in fat! Unfortunately, it's May, so some of your fish options will be limited. DON'T EAT OYSTERS! And be careful of sushi. As the water warms, the chance of bacteria is higher.

ALSO! Invest in these:

1) a daily multi-vitamin. You need this anyway.
2) milk thistle - aids in detox, and cleans out liver enzymes.
3) choline - breaks down fat and also aids in liver cleanup.

The liver is where you store all your toxins. Occassionally, your liver will rebel against this abuse, and leak these toxins to your blood. This results in the following: alcohol poisoning, hangovers, fatigue, sickness, blood poisoning, headaches, stomach cramps. Not fun things! So cleaning out your liver is very, very important. Plus, when you have a clean liver, you are able to better prevent getting sick in other ways, because your liver is your first line of defense against viruses, bacteria and other fun nasties which try to crawl into your body.

Also, invest in either a water filter or one of those big litre water bottles (they look like mini-gallon jugs). Or both. 8-10 glasses of water a day - that's the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS WHOLE THING.

Also! (I keep thinking of things to add.) Fruit juice. I know, I know, fruit juice (and smoothies) are awesome. But you have to be careful, because, with fruit juice, you're getting ALL of the sugar from the fruit, and none of the yummy vitamins and minerals. Plus, in order to make the juice, several whole fruits have to be used, so, for example, one cup of apple juice is equal to the sugar of about five apples. So just be aware of how much you consume, and try not to have more than 8oz of fruit juice a day.

Veggie juice, on the other hand? Load up.


Do you buy much of your stuff at a regular grocery store, or a speciality?
Also, I'm adding a bit bc I'm interfery like that:
- Asian stores sell more versions of tofu. It comes pickled, in balls, in wraps (like square pancakes), vareity of hardness and shapes. They all taste and cook up differently; I like the spongy balls best.
- Tofu absorbs whatever flavor you add to it. It can be marinated (just dump some flavored things on it and leave -- it'll absorb) or eaten cold in the summer like the Japanese appetizer.
- Soy noodles have very little flavor but go very well in Korean cold noodle soup with sesame, hot sauce, and pears. Also with tomato sauce if you're not a purist.
- Soy milk, even plain, is pretty sweet. I use it instead of water to make oatmeal and then add something like blueberries.
Er, and there is soy yogurt. I've never tried it because I've never seen plain soy yogurt and flavored yogurt has heaps of sugar.

Also, there are several liver/kidney detox herbal teas floating around health stores.
Yeast is on the detox no-no, so you're not supposed to have yogurt of any kind, really. (unless you have to, for, like, girly TMI issues.)
Well that blows. Hmmm, I may have to add that to my modifications bc I'm not sure I can not have it after a long run. I'll try, but we'll see.
Ugh. I bought vanilla soy milk yesterday.
yeah, check the back. it's probably got sugar. sorry!
Dammit, I thought it was OK. Someone mentioned vanilla soy in your original recruitment thread, so I thought it was OK.

FYI CANADIANS - "Mary's Gone Crackers", in Canada, go by the name "Mary's Gourmet Crackers." (When I went to the health food store, I spotted them, and wasn't sure it was the same thing, until you posted the link above. Box looks exactly the same, except "Gourment" where "Gone" is. Weirdness.)

Also, Canadians, if you have not already discovered them, I may suggest SummerFresh hummus dips? Specifically, the Roasted Red Pepper Hummus is one of the best things ever made, ever. (It's hella garlicky, so don't have plans to make out with anyone afterwards.) I'm looking forward to trying the Spicy Hummus, too. (The 60 Pepper Hummus I've tried; it's a little harsh, pepper-wise.)
Few quick notes I'm sneaking in at work.

Hummus is the business. Sun dried tomato and chipotle. Yum!

I discovered today that even soy milk is made with cane juice - aka sugar. One of my workmates told me a brand that isn't which you can get at Walmart, but I'm blanking on the name. Will find out later though.

I have a brown and wild rice mix, is this ok? I'm looking forward to trying out my quinoa. Sounds yummy.

And also looking forward to all the veggie. I do love all different kinds of vegatables so much, but for some reason never eat them that much.
Yeah, evaporated cane juice is a no-no. But there are actually several kinds of soy milk that are made without it. You just have to check.

Yeah, the rice mix is probably okay. White rice is what you want to avoid.

How's your first day going? I found that I did fine till around 3 pm, when I all of a sudden got really cranky. That happened for about three days, and then I was over it.
I'll have to stick with this until I get to the store and get some more, but the only thing I ever use milk for is to wet my cereal. I don't even drink it from there because I think milk is foul stuff. I think using that small of an amount I should be ok for the moment?

It's actually going quite well. I was a bit huingry mid-morning, but all I have for a snakc today is fruit and carrot chips so I decided to save those for the afternoon. I need to Mary's Gone and hummus for a mid-morning snack, just a little fiber boost.

Will report any crankiness. ;)
Have just had Mary's Gone Herb crackers with Out to Lunch (shop local baby!) Sundried tomato and chipotle pepper hummus. SNACK ORGASM. I would seriously eat that if I wasn't detoxing.

Re the fruit juice: Better to split 50/50 with water,Y/N?

Y Y Y Y Y.
I just realized I'm not allowed to eat sugar. and I kind of cried a little. Why did I conveniently forget about this rule until just now? I already can't eat some of the food I just went and bought. I am so poor! What now? I might just eat it anyways. A little sugar never hurt anyone... then once it's gone I won't eat anymore. *cries* I had to buy granola, btw, because all the Kashi cereals my grocery store stocks had wheat in them. wtf? what were you talking about?

May 2007



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