Enjoying your last day of fun and friviolty? Yeah, suck it up!
I know I promised recipes, however, the thing is . . . I don't use recipes. i just, you know, cook. However, I'm going to endeavor to try to write them down. I dunno! It's hard!
But here are awesome detox-friendly products for you to eat!Mary's Gone Crackers
Y'all, Mary's Gone Crackers are the shit. I eat them not on detox, they are so fucking yummy. Light and crispy! Slap some all-natural, tasty hummus on those? Instant snacktime fun.HUMMUS
There are 400 different kinds of hummus, and you can find it anywhere (or make it yourself - 2 cups of chickpeas, maybe a quarter cup of olive oil, spices, lemon juice. Garlic, chives, onions or peppers at will. blender.). Hummus is detox-friendly, contains the best kind of oil (olive, which has the best ratio of good fat to bad) and is freaking tasty business. If you're lucky enough to find a place that carries this brand
, check out 40-spice hummus. Holy crapballs.Rice Pasta
Rice pasta is not that bad, actually. Now, that may not sound like a ringing endorsement, but remember that I studied Italian in school specifically so that I could better investigate the history of pasta. I love pasta. So when I say it's not bad, I mean just that. Is it as good as handmade pasta fresh from being rolled and cut? No. But it's not bad. The one thing you'll want to look out for is cooking times - don't leave the pasta on to boil and then go check your email. 6, 7 minutes TOPS. After that, and because it's made of rice, it'll start to fall apart quickly due to the water. Soy Cheese
Again, actually . . . not that bad. And we all know how I feel about cheese. I wouldn't suggest eating it plain in a sandwich or something, but cooked, it's actually pretty good. Or at least deceptively cheese-like. You can find it in your local grocer's vegetarian or organic section - it's meltable, slicable, shreddable, etc.Tofu
Might as well just get used to it now. Again, tofu can be deceptively good. I don't eat, like, tofu steaks, but when you cut it fine, it's actually really good, I think. And I went into detox hating the very idea of tofu. At any rate, use firm tofu for meat substitutions, in vegan lasagna (recipe to follow), etc. Silken tofu is quite good in soups (I have a good recipe for a creamy corn chowder made from soy milk and silken tofu which is actually quite yummy; I'm just trying to find it.) and smoothies (although I use soy protein powder in my smoothies. But if you like creamy smoothies, then you can use silken tofu to replace the frozen yogurt).Soy Milk or Rice Milk
Be careful that your milk doesn't have added sugar! Some of the flavored milks do. I don't personally like rice milk- I think it's really thin and watery (of course, I only drink whole milk, so I think that of 2% and skim too. So if you're a fan of 2%, etc, you might be quite at home with rice milk.), but I was surprised at how much I liked soy, actually. You can't tell the difference at all with cooking, and I even liked it on cereal and stuff. So you may want to try both and see.VEGETABLES AND FRUITS
Seriously, get in touch with your love for produce. It's the beginning of summer! The best time for produce! (ha, you should have done this in January! although, I live in Texas, so it wasn't really that bad) The old adage proves true - embrace the rainbow. The darker the veggie, the better. Steam them, grill them, eat them raw - the more veggies, the better. Try to limit yourself to only 2 (maybe 3, if you count some juice) servings of fruit. It's delish, but high in sugars, and can lead your blood sugar to do wonky things. (Also try to limit regular, i.e. white or red, potatoes and other high-starch veggies. sweet potatoes are acceptable, though.)Quinoa!
I really don't know what I did before quinoa. That shit is TASTY BUSINESS. Quinoa is a seed (most people think it's a grain) that, when cooked, expands a bit and looks a little like couscous. It's really yummy, and I'll share with you my favorite way of having it. But, basically, cook it like you would rice - 1 part quinoa to 2 part water, bring to a bit of a boil, then reduce to a simmer and let it sit for about 20 minutes, or until the water's been absorbed. It's a really good side dish, and it's super easy to make.Basmati and brown rice
Are the kinds of rice you can have. Basmati is yumtastic, I think it's better than regular rice anyways. It's less starchy. If you usually put gravy or butter on your rice and can't stand having it "plain," try putting some lemon juice on it. I thought it was quite tasty!Salad Dressings . . .
JUST SAY NO. Seriously, not even the low-fat ones. Check the back label. Sugar galore, non? Try these two:
Lemon-Olive Oil Dressing:
1 part olive oil
2 parts lemon juice
a hint of black pepper
1 part olive oil
2 parts balsamic vinegar
Seriously, you don't need heavy dressings on your salad anyway. It's gross.Nuts and seeds
Be careful how much you eat. Peanuts are really high in fat. Pumpkin seeds are really good! And pistachios (high in fat, but the good kind)! Flaxseed is great, almonds are excellent for you. Look around. Experiment. And for heaven's sake, don't go salting your nuts to death. They don't need salt!Fish
Don't gorge yourself on fish just cause you can. Limit yourself to once or twice a week (do have some, though. animal protein is good for you! really!). I prefer salmon, but any fish high in omega-3 will do. Shellfish is also good, and low in fat! Unfortunately, it's May, so some of your fish options will be limited. DON'T EAT OYSTERS! And be careful of sushi. As the water warms, the chance of bacteria is higher.
ALSO! Invest in these:
1) a daily multi-vitamin. You need this anyway.
2) milk thistle - aids in detox, and cleans out liver enzymes.
3) choline - breaks down fat and also aids in liver cleanup.
The liver is where you store all your toxins. Occassionally, your liver will rebel against this abuse, and leak these toxins to your blood. This results in the following: alcohol poisoning, hangovers, fatigue, sickness, blood poisoning, headaches, stomach cramps. Not fun things! So cleaning out your liver is very, very important. Plus, when you have a clean liver, you are able to better prevent getting sick in other ways, because your liver is your first line of defense against viruses, bacteria and other fun nasties which try to crawl into your body.
Also, invest in either a water filter or one of those big litre water bottles (they look like mini-gallon jugs). Or both. 8-10 glasses of water a day - that's the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS WHOLE THING.
Also! (I keep thinking of things to add.) Fruit juice. I know, I know, fruit juice (and smoothies) are awesome. But you have to be careful, because, with fruit juice, you're getting ALL of the sugar from the fruit, and none of the yummy vitamins and minerals. Plus, in order to make the juice, several whole fruits have to be used, so, for example, one cup of apple juice is equal to the sugar of about five apples. So just be aware of how much you consume, and try not to have more than 8oz of fruit juice a day.
Veggie juice, on the other hand? Load up.